im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
