is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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