She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm just crazy horny about you
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
