You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
