I faked an abortion last night.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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