I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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