brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
