Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
