We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
