i would punch a child for taco bell
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
