I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize