you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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