i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize