we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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