Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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