What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
