you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize