Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
