I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
