My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
