we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
