I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
