omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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