And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
