Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
