I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
