Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
