I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
