So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
