It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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