The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
