I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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