I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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