Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
