I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Can you bring me the toilet please
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize