i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
