We named our party play list daddy issues
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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