Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
