Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
