my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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