you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
