I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
