ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
