You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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