I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
