You smell like stripper and shame
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
