Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
