Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
