I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
