Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
