people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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