Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
