Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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