dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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