hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
