He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
