There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
