My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
