Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
