i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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