I think im going to throw up on grandma
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
