just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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